Tag Archives: love

Dear Diary Episode Three: Touch Me I’m Sick

25 Jul

And now, for your voyeuristic pleasure, I present to you, dear reader, another fascinating and sensational episode of Dear Diary, featuring the writings of two young women, one circa 1970s, the other circa 2000s, straight from their respective diaries, treasures which I have found through years of thrifting and garbage digging.

Our first entry, courtesy of a young girl named Valerie is extremely unusual when compared to the rest of the entries.  Most days, recorded in a five year diary spanning the years 1969 through 1974, reveal a very perfectionist and repetitious existence, often with very little change from day to day.  For example, take these two entries, written on consecutive days:

Day one, February 4th, 1969

“Went to school, to choir, watched TV, did homework, did dishes, got clothes ready, bed.”

Day Two, February 5th, 1969

“Went to school, watched TV, did homework, got clothes ready, went to bed.”

Not much is revealed about her inner life.

Valerie’s time is passed by cycling through the same mundane chores and tasks, much like the rest of us.

But in the later years of the diary, as she transforms from pre-adolescent to adolescent, she starts to spend more time with friends, and boys, and she attends parties and drive-ins and such.  But the following entry is a marked departure from her usual, innocent and responsible behavior, and she dutifully records the inevitable consequence.  This entry also marks the last time she would write in her diary, as her experience that night seems to delineate the place where she completely crosses over into the fraught world of the teenage girl, a place where a five year diary offering only four ruled lines per day is no longer enough to explain what has occurred.

July 8th, 1971

“Went dancing, got drunk, went swimming, kissed Bob, Barry, Jack, Rich, Mike, was sick.”

The rest of the seventies is left to our imagination.

Valerie’s five year Diary

Old diary entries always have a dreamy quality, I guess because memories seem pale and somewhat indistinct the way dreams do.  This entry, from the second diary, recorded by an unnamed author, details a dream that in its melancholy beauty evokes the kind of longing and loss that typifies reminiscence.

April 1st, 2003

“Last night my dream hurt me.  It started out at the Big Bop downtown. (The big Bop was an infamous, but now defunct punk venue that was in downtown Toronto.–Miss Lady Heart)  I was with a bunch of girls from my school and all these girl bands were playing L7 and 7 Year Bitch songs and stuff.  We left and went to a bar at one point.  And I think Devin was there.  (This seems to be the author’s boyfriend.  See Dear Diary Episodes One and Two for more on him.–Miss Lady Heart)  Something happened with Devin, but I cant remember.  I can see us standing in a snowy back ally, that’s all.  The part I mostly remember was walking around with these kids that were real hurt inside.  We didn’t say much, but I could tell they were sad.  I remember us going to this house and the guys just sat down in this room, but us girls 3 altogether, climbed out the window, and there was a beach outside.  These dolphins swam up to us, and they were bleeding, and they seemed like they wanted us to kill them, and that’s why they came.  I didn’t want to, but the other girls started throwing things at them and hurting them, and the water got bloodier and bloodier.  I was so sad, but they liked it.  The dolphins were beautiful before.  After they died, the girls sang this gorgeous song.  I almost knew it, but not quite, it was like dying and heaven.  I wish I could remember it.  After that all I can remember is me and these girls visiting a sick boy in a house down the street from mine.  He wanted me to hold him so badly and when I did he almost melted in my arms.  He was sleeping in my Strawberry Shortcake bed sheets.”

Each girl writes of  a totally different subject, yet they both evoke the same sad, romantic, dizzy feeling, a feeling of being emotionally overwhelmed,a sense of the power and mystery of water, the sometimes fleeting nature of love, and the music that’s in the background.

the second diary

Thrift Store Finds: Jesus is my Sweetheart

4 Apr

I love to shop for costume jewelry at Value Village, and the cumulative evidence of this and future posts will prove that I’m awesome at it.

Value Village, 1319 Bloor St. W., Toronto

One of The things I found was this awesome Jesus pin that bears a striking resemblance to the sweetheart pins that boys would buy or have made for their girlfriend or mother to wear while they fought overseas.

The jesus pin from Value Village

A WWII sweetheart pin

AWWII sweetheart pin to give to one's mother

There are many variations on the sweetheart pin, but the heart outline with a name or the word sweetheart going diagonally across it is a more popular and  recognizable type.  That’s why I loved the Jesus pin right away,  the design implies that it’s not just for someone who loves jesus, it’s for someone who really Loves… jesus.

I also found a couple of pins of a type I hadn’t seen in a while, but I predict are going to come back.  Be the first of your friends to get in on the trend:

Does this pin bring back memories?

What was that plastic stuff called that is being used here?  It came in strips and you would boil it until it was soft and then you could shape and cut it.  I remember getting some in that same iridescent colour used on the first pin but I never made anything more complicated that a wobbly and warped plastic cuff.  I thought these were pretty rad and I think they are going to come back in style.  What do you think, dear reader?

Found Notes: 1940s Edition

4 Apr

While digging (literally) through my favorite junk shop, Odds and Ends I found a letter dated 1941 from a young woman to her boyfriend that she has not seen in a little while.

Odds and Ends, 703 Queen St. W., Toronto

Most of the letters and postcards I find are somewhat boring and give no insight into what is going on in the person’s life at the time, but this one was pretty good.  The letter writer Betty  is pining away for her lover, all the while worrying that some other girl will snatch him away.  Meanwhile she fears that he thinks she has been untrue.  And poor insecure, self depreciating, Betty, is she as cute in real life as she is in the picture he has of her in his wallet, she wonders??  A somewhat repetitive and rambling letter writer, Betty has a love affair not only with Gordon, but with run-on sentences as well.  Let’s peer back in time dear reader, for a look at the trials and tribulations of affairs of the heart, Betty and Gordon style:

To Mr Gordon Schissler

c/o S.S Manitoba

Sault Ste. Marie

Ontario

Set. 4, 1941

Hello Darling!

Dearest Gord,

Well I got your letter at last, and I suppose you got mine (such as it was) and I must say I liked it a lot and I certainly didn’t think it was silly or childish and it sure is nice to have somebody you love write you such a swell letter.  Thanks honey!  The only thing I didn’t like in the letter was about that guy off the Kewatin. (lady heart- she must be referring to another navy or army boat, Gord being on the SS Manitoba)  I’m telling you Gord.  I didn’t go out with him or even speak to him that night and that’s the truth, so help me god!  He sure had his nerve cooking up a story like that.  You just gotta believe me cause I certainly wouldn’t lie to you, of all people.  Well I guess I’ve cleared that up, so lets talk about something else.

Did you get the boat safely on Wed.?  I guess you must have or I’d have seen you before this.  But we sure didn’t have much time together last night did we?  My mother almost collapsed when I got home so early.

I hope we can go to Port Arthur sometime.  I’d really like to show you around there.

I couldn’t hardly wait to get home at noon today to see if there was any mail + sure enough there was.

It rained here tonight so we didn’t go out anyplace.  I guess we will go skating tomorrow night.

Could you figure out all the initials on the back of the envelope this time? (lady heart- the back of the envelope said ” S. W. A. K.”)  I bet you couldn’t.

Still got my picture in the front of your bill fold?  You’re lucky you got that picture because it really flatters me.  It’s about twice as cute as I really am, don’t you think?

Don’t worry Gord if I do come home with any other boy I won’t kiss him at all.  I’m not kissing anybody but you and you oughta know that now, or didn’t I tell you?  I can’t promise I’ll never come home with any other boys because that’s rather hard to do when you go to a dance or something like that but I can promise you I won’t kiss them.  (lady heart-she switches from pen to pencil here)  I won’t ask you to promise that because I guess it’s harder for a boy not to do it than a girl but it would be nice to know you didn’t.

I still have “our” little jitterbug.  I don’t think I’ll lose him.  I’ll have to be careful somebody doesn’t pinch it.  You’ll have to excuse this writing but I’m in bed now and I had to get a pencil.   It’s nearly 12 so I guess I should put out light, honey and finish this tomorrow so goodnight darling.  (xxxxxx these are imaginary kisses I’m giving giving a certain blond haired boy who lives a little “joint” called Port Mc Nicholl I think you call it.)

Friday.  Well I’m back again to finish this letter.  Well school’s over for another week which is alright to (sic).

I will be looking for you on Wed. at noon if you’re in early enough.

I hope some other girl hasn’t come along yet, I’d sure feel badly if someone did.  I only wish you lived in Fort William so I could see you more often.  But I guess there’s nothing we can do about that it, is there?  You know, I often lie in bed too and imagine I’m sitting somewhere with you + you’re kissing me.  When I saw you on Wed. at noon I got the funniest feeling.  Must be love I guess.

Was the lake rough on your trip down?  I hope not.  I sure wouldn’t want anything to happen to my best boyfriend.

How’s Pat?  Still yearning for his girlfriend in Toronto?

Now I think I’ve said about everything I can think of now so don’t forget I’ll be counting the days till I see you again darling.  There’s only 5 left now.

So good bye now.

All my Love,

Betty

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

maybe you’ll get this many kisses next time

P.S. See you on Wed.

 

Have more confidence in yourself  Betty, and don’t believe the patriarchal notion that men cant control themselves around women, and women are less sexual and passionate. Women Unite!  I wonder what the little “jitterbug”  was, that she was worried would get lost or stolen?

Ah, young love.  Good luck you two!